fuzzy L0G1c

“See those unrepenting buzzards want your life.”

by Shane on Apr.29, 2008, under Rants

I can’t tell if I’m bored, angry or depressed; but I know I’m just not happy right now.  I thought maybe writing in my blog would help cheer me up, so here I am writing away.   Two sentences in and I don’t feel any better yet.  Still bitchy, grouchy and tired.  Still disappointed in myself and unhappy with my general state of being.  Not that I have a reason to complain, I’m actually very blessed.  I just.. I dunno.  This isn’t working at all.  But really,  why would it?  It’s a fucking blog, dumbass!  It’s just a bunch of poorly-written stories I hope others will someday read and thing “Gee. That’s a witty fellow!”.  It’s my pathetic excuse for a social life and (external-family) human interaction. 

Surrounded by people who love me, I am very lonely.  Feel like I’m just disappointing those around me or worse.  Is it possible I don’t matter enough to disappoint people?  That’s a scary thought.  It’s one thing to be disliked, it’s entirely something worse to be insignificant to anyone but those who directly depend on you.  Bleh – I’m just being dramatic.  I’m just in a bad mood and need to do something to get out of it.

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