“See those unrepenting buzzards want your life.”
I can’t tell if I’m bored, angry or depressed; but I know I’m just not happy right now. I thought maybe writing in my blog would help cheer me up, so here I am writing away. Two sentences in and I don’t feel any better yet. Still bitchy, grouchy and tired. Still disappointed in myself and unhappy with my general state of being. Not that I have a reason to complain, I’m actually very blessed. I just.. I dunno. This isn’t working at all. But really, why would it? It’s a fucking blog, dumbass! It’s just a bunch of poorly-written stories I hope others will someday read and thing “Gee. That’s a witty fellow!”. It’s my pathetic excuse for a social life and (external-family) human interaction.
Surrounded by people who love me, I am very lonely. Feel like I’m just disappointing those around me or worse. Is it possible I don’t matter enough to disappoint people? That’s a scary thought. It’s one thing to be disliked, it’s entirely something worse to be insignificant to anyone but those who directly depend on you. Bleh - I’m just being dramatic. I’m just in a bad mood and need to do something to get out of it.