fuzzy L0G1c

I landed in Columbus this afternoon in preparation for a presentation I’m giving tomorrow. The perfect Spring weather in Dulles didn’t follow me unfortunately which lead to a rather bumpy descent and landing. I know what you are thinking “oh no! He’ll be killed!” but it turns out I made it after all. But It was the kind of landing which had me break out in a cold sweat. Ironically not for the fear of crashing, but the queasiness (wow that actually is a word!) which was erupting in my stomach and threatening to expand it’s borders to my lap and the poor lady sitting next to me. The little “air sickness” bag peaked at me from the seat pocket in front of me. Assuring me that it was there if I needed it. “Finally!” the bag thought eagerly to itself “a chance to fulfill my cosmic purpose and enter “Air Sickness Heaven” in full glory!” However I knew if I reached for the bag, I was fully committed; I would be tossing my cookies. Very much in the same way as when you feel like you are going to puke at home, spotting the toilet pretty-well guarantees you are going to be seeing you dinner for a second time. No! I’ve never lost my lunch on a flight I’m not going to now! I’ll just sit here an sweat profusely, turn the knobby on the air dealie and pray we reach the ground. Well… I made it w/ lunch intact. Whew!

Exiting the aircraft I did my nerdly duty and flipped on my blackberry in the off-chance that something really important came up on my 1-hour flight between Dulles and Columbus. Uhh.. nope. Nothing. Hrmm. That’s odd. I think to myself, my BB didn’t update it’s clock for central time. So I pop into the options and remind the phone exactly where it’s at.. Ohio.. Central time.. silly phone! I call Amber. She answers in a tone which is both confused and surprised. “What’s wrong?” she asks. Nothing’s wrong, we landed on time. I told her my flight would be landing around 3PM EST (2PM central time). Silly Amber, she forgets so quickly that there’s a timezone difference. She expresses surprise that I’ve arrived so soon. Oh Amber.. your concept of time and space is so messed up! No wonder you are always running late! I tell her I’ll call her later from the Hotel. I hop in my rental car and start heading towards the hotel. Along the way I notice that the clock in the car is off. Grr, how annoying, it’s an hour fast. I guess no one resets these things for daylight savings. I get to my hotel and check in. I boot up my laptop and sign in to check my mail. (again, just in case something terribly important came up in the 30 minutes it took for me to drive from the airport). Oh. My PC clock is still on Eastern Time. I’ll just update that now.. Done. I rattle off a few emails, send a couple files and sign off. I’m still feeling pretty rough so I think I’ll take a nap. I look at the clock in my room. WTF? an hour fast. Why do people always fuck w/ clocks in hotel rooms?! They can never be trusted. Oh well.. it’s only an hour fast, I’ll just compensate in my head. ZZzzzzz. I wake up several hours later and look at the clock. 8:30PM. Oh.. okay that means it’s only 7:30 really. I call Amber and ask what she’s up to. She tells me she’s right in the middle of trying to get the kids to bed. That makes sense. It’s 8:30 her time, only 7:30 here. The kids are screaming and crying so I tell her I’ll call her back later after I get some dinner. As I leave my room I do some quick math in my head. Okay.. If I take an hour for Dinner, I’ll get back in time to maybe (finally) update my blog. On the way to the restaurant I pass a bank who’s sign dutifully tells me the temperature is 68 degress and the time is…8:45! WTF?! How can the bank be wrong too?

Of course what happened next was one of those special moment’s in a man’s life when everything he knows, all he trusts and all his pride seem to vanish in an instant. I stared at that sign. Temp: 68 degrees. Time: 8:46 PM. The next rotation on the sign could have (and should) have read: “and.. Ohio is in the Eastern Timezone, Asshole!” It all came rushing back. How I corrected my Agenda to adjust for the timezone, How I updated my meetings in calendar to be on central time, How I corrected my phone’s time, why Amber thought my flight was early, why the clock in my rental car was off, why the clock on my laptop was off, why the clock in my room was off… Turns out that my self-centered, pig-headed view of the world might just be off… or at least in the wrong timezone.