Called Out… Slapped Around.. Defamed…

…and she was right to do it!

Well.. I’ve been “Called Out” by Kim of www.Lostinplace.org for asking her the “Project Say Something” question of:

“As a working mother you have many roles to play throughout the day; Mom, Wife, Business Professional, Friend and just being yourself. Which of these roles is most important and which would you like to be most important?”

She accepted the challenge and posted her reply in the article:

Project Say Something!: Female Dichotomy

And in her reply she calls me out thusly:

” My first response? Why doesn’t anyone ever ask this question of a man? Seriously? You never hear, “As a working father, how do you balance the many roles you play?” Nobody cares if the man balances well. Nobody expects him to have a stellar performance in every single role all of the time. And yet, if a woman falters in even one of hers, maybe she can’t take it. But really, not even going the comparing route, the balancing act of the man just isn’t discussed. Is he expected to just take it and run with it, never evaluate it, never judge it, never want something different, never acknowledge it? I don’t understand that. So? I’m going to do it. Turn that table, ask that question. So Shane, for this week: As a working father, with all the roles you have to play – how do you balance them all and which is most important? And a step further – which one could use the most attention?”

Kim has stressed to me that she was not upset and there was no rancor in her reply. But I will leave that up to you, my devoted reader (s?)

I will start my reply (yes I’m getting to it already) by saying my question to Kim was not to throw her a curve ball or call into question her ability to balance work / family / self. (I guess that’s what a “Dichotomy” is, but I wouldn’t know as I was too busy looking up a the Rancor wikipedia link above to make a quick nonsensical nerd-pun) In fact! The reason behind the question was that I found her ability to manage work / life / family / self (at least what little I see of it) to be very impressive. And while yes, I did want to dig a bit deeper into “what makes Kim tick” (not ticked-off) than “what’s your favorite color” it was certainly not my intent to call her ability to balance these things into question. A quick look at Kim’s blog will show you how balanced she is. She is often spending time and doing things with her friends and family. She’s constantly taking her daughter to see and experience new things in the world. She’s impressive! I’d like to know how she does it. But… as to not dodge the question.

How do I balance these things? I don’t. Unfortunately I should spend more time with my wife, my family and my friends. I have a tendency to draw within myself and lock out as much external contact as is possible. I hate to go out. I don’t like crowds. Vacations are nightmares for me. I should be doing better at work. All these things sum up what’s out of whack.

Which could use the most attention? My kids. I should not allow them to adopt my comfortable habits of avoiding people, staying home and being reclusive. I know this is the case, but I have a hard time bringing myself to break out in that capacity. So there you go, Kim.

Next week I’ll ask you “If you were a tree what tree would you be?”