Fear and Self-Loathing in Ashburn

So - I’m feeling pretty low right no. Not sure why. I know I know. It’s the Holidays and people tend to get depressed around the Holidays. But I don’t think that’s the case. Ever since I had to start paying for my own Christmas, it’s true, I’ve grown to hate it. However I’ve come to terms with the fact that we will overspend, not really be happy with what we get and kick ourselves in January. Big whoops, same ride will come around next year. No this is different. It’s been building for a while now. I think it’s more like.. just not liking myself anymore. It’s becoming more and more clear why people don’t like me. Hell I don’t like me. I suppose it’s like designing and building a car which you are then forced to drive every day. It’s a good car, doesn’t hurt anymore, it’s an honest car doesn’t scam anyone. But you just hate it, and a lot of people look at the car and hate it too. And then you use that car to write shitty car-self-loathing analogies on some shitty blog in some shitty dark corner of the net which (understandably) no one bothers to visit. Shit!

I know.. “Do something about it!” you scream. “Go to school!, Workout! Go to Church! Get Involved with your Community.”

Well first - stop screaming at my blog, I can’t hear you. Secondly, I don’t want wanna. I don’t want to work on the car, I just want to… not hate my car so much.

“Drugs! That’s the answer!” No sorry, don’t do drugs. “No, prescription drugs!” Ahh yes… Got that covered, I think my car runs on them. Another reason to hate it.

“Shut the hell up and stop your whining!”

Okay - best advice yet.