Eclipse…Mixed with a little Brain Damage

This week we have a newcomer to “Project Say Something”.  “Mysterious Amy” has joined our little game and starts off by asking the question: What is one thing that you have and should throw away, but can’t? Why or Why not?

In typical “Me Fashion” I’ll answer this question simply and then spend the rest of my post rambling about somewhat related items.   I should throw away my emotional baggage, but I cant.  Why?  I’m worried it’s the bulk of what I am.

I go through phases where I seem to fall into myself.  I become very (even for me) introverted and reflective about all which is happening around me and in my head.  During these times I typically become very dark in my communications and personal interactions.  I also become very much as the mercy to the Music I listen to and the movies I watch.  (Amber won’t let me watch America Beauty anymore)  And during these times I’m often drawn to “darker” more “depressed” music.  Outwardly I look fairly normal; just more quite and reserved.  Inwardly my mind is reeling and gnawing on the old bones of my past, the predicament of the present and the uncertainty of the future.  It is very much within on of these dark periods that I find myself answering this question about what I should throw away.

• I should throw away my social anxiety and want to be part of a crowd.
• I should throw away my anger from being overlooked and not given credit for my works as a child and an adult.
• I should throw away my self-doubt that has been so indoctrinated in me for so very long.
• I should throw away my fear of making new friends.
• I should throw away my sarcasm which always rears it’s ugly head in anxious social situations.
• I should throw away my cowardices  so I might try new things, go on new adventures and do something new.
• I should throw away my hatred of those who love me or wish me no harm.
• I should throw away my arrogance which is frankly a mask for my self-doubt.

But if I part with these things.. what is left?

All that you touch
All that you see
All that you taste
All you feel
All that you love
All that you hate
All you distrust
All you save
All that you give
All that you deal
All that you buy beg, borrow or steal
All you create
All you destroy
All that you do
All that you say
All that you eat
Everyone you meet
All that you slight
Everyone you fight
All that is now
All that is gone
All that’s to come
And everything under the sun is in tune
But the sun is eclipsed by the moon.