fuzzy L0G1c

An excellent question from Monica…

“Tell us about the very FIRST time you saw and/or talked to your current significant other.”(Monica)

Our first meeting is one of the memorable stories that Amber and I love to share.  While it’s not exactly the first time we’ve seen or met each other it’s the first time we really talked / flirted with each other. 

It was at a Colorguard competition at Springville High School, in Springville, Ut.  Amber was warming up / practicing her solo (for the upcoming solo competition later that day).  I was doing the same and we were essentially sharing the same area during warm-ups.  I noticed her and flirted a bit with her, but she was there with her overbearing knuckle-headed jock boyfriend.  He was doing all the typical dumbass jock stuff towards her.  Being rude, making fun of her and otherwise just being an asshole.  So much of an asshole that later that day when I got him away from her I had a conversation with him that went something like this.

Me: “You know, you have a very nice girlfriend”
Him: “Yeah”
Me: “You know you don’t treat her very well.  I’m surprised she stays with you.”
Him: “We’ve been going together forever, I’m not worried”
Me: “You know.  I really like your girlfriend.  I think I’ll just have to steal her from you.”
Him: “Yeah right”.  

Like taking candy from a baby.  

Sidenote – last we saw him he was VERY overweight, bent over a broken-down shitty car in a Walmart parking lot, trying to get it started.  Sometimes the universe just smiles on you.

This question comes from Amy…

“Out of the seven sins (Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, Pride) which one is your favorite and which one (if different) are you most guilty of?  Same question with the seven virtues (Prudence, Justice, Restraint, Courage, Faith, Hope, Love).”(Amy)

I think the biggest challenge here is just picking one.  I mean really…  

Sins: 

• Favorite: Lust (sorry no further explanation forthcoming) 
• Most guilty of: Wrath.  I spend way too much time getting mad at people and situations.  Typically when I’m “wrathful” I often do and say stupid things.  Which I do frequently, so you know exactly how guilty I am. 

Virtues: 

• Favorite: Love (but of course! <insert stereotypical french laugh>)  But seriously, knowing that someone out there can actually put up with you, but moreso even love you, is quite amazing. 
• Most “guilty” of: Love.  I go out of my way every day to make sure my wife and kids know exactly how much I love them and how much they mean to me.  I also try to show my love to my friends by being helpful, friendly (ha!) and there for them when in need.

This PSS theme comes from Lisa - and while this question has been asked in various ways in the past I’ll bite…

“If given the opportunity to relive your life, what would you change?

I previously answered this question – essentially saying it’s too risky to screw with the past – but instead of just bailing out on the question I’ll take a slightly different angle on it.  I’ll just highlight a few of the times in my life I’d like to relive – not change – just experience once again.

1. First meeting Amber – Telling her jerk of a then-boyfriend that I was going to steal her from him
2. Sledding on the mountain as a kid – dawn to dusk – with my friends.
3. That lovely period of time between meeting Amber and having kids.  I had a ton of money, little-to-no responsibility and a torrid love affair to boot.
4. Speaking of which… All those nights in the pool.  That night on the balcony in Orlando.  That night on the rock.  That time in my truck in the middle of winter.  That time on the island in the middle of the river in the mountains.
5. That time when Justin talked me out of breaking up with Amber.  We made “Amber’s” and “Hilary’s” out of pretzels while sitting around the campfire getting drunk on Dr. Pepper.  Thanks man.
6. All those times when sharing an office w/ Vic – when we laughed so hard we couldn’t breathe and everyone in the office thought we were nuts.
7. The first time I held my daughter in my arms.
8. The first time I got Ashley to laugh.
9. That time when Ashley was 3 and called me “Shaner” like Amber did.  “Me love you too, Shaner.” was totally adorable.
10. Tonight – when I got home and Geo shouted “Daddy!” and did a little happy dance.

A while back Amy asked the set the PSS theme:

I’d have to say the closest thing would be a very boring and only semi-funny version of “Office Space” or “The Office”.  I make it a point not to blog about work – so that’s about as far as I’ll go.  I’m your typical corporate drone who’s a bit too much of a smartass for his own worth.

BTW, have you seen my Stapler?

Kim asked: “What’s your Dream Car?” (Or something like that – it’s been too long for me to still find!)

This one is easy for me.  Regardless my nagging “Daddy Issues” one thing I can always say is that I respect his taste in vehicles.  My dream car is my dad’s 68 Mercury Cougar.  I’ve lusted after this car since I can remember.  One of my fondest memories is riding w/ my dad in Wyoming (Just outside the Uintah Mountains) doing at least 130 mph in this baby.  When accelerating this car will just glue you to the back of your seat.  Awesome!

“Other Kim” asked: Tell us about at least one religion, other than your own, you respect and why.

For me it’s not about “who’s team” you are on.  It’s not about saying I’m religion A and we are super awesome compared to religion B.  There’s a great Mel Brooks line / song about a time before there were countries and everyone was still living in caves.  The national anthem of his cave was “Let them all go to hell, except Cave 76!”  I think that’s true for anyone who thinks their religion is the best.  In this case, exchange “Cave 76″ for whatever religion you like.  So to say I respect an entire religion would be inaccurate and somewhat shortsighted.

No religion has a monopoly on good people (or idiots for that matter).  I admire the good people who are scattered across many faiths (non-faiths as well).  Those who seek help others – even when it’s not in their best interest.  People who take time to help even when no one is watching.  People who think of others before they think of themselves.  These qualities are not isolated to just one religion.

Take this as a cop-out if you like.  But concerning religion, I’m much more interested in what’s in their heart and what motivates them vs. the name on the side of the building where they worship.

A while back, Amy set a theme to follow up on my theme about cheating.  She asks:

If you were going to cheat, with what celebrity/famous person (ONLY) would it be?

Well okay if you twist my arm.  I’ve ALWAYS been a sucker for redheads.  So if I had to (and you know it would be TOTALLY against my will)  I’d have to call up Alicia Witt.  I originally feel in love with her when she played a guest role on The Sopranos episode “D-Girl”.  (She was the hot redhead producer who eventually slept with Christopher).  Anyway – it’s her.  She needs more work.  Someone hire her so I can lust after her some more!

Back when Noah was in Short-pants I asked set the PSS Theme of:

“If you caught you spouse cheating on you, would you forgive them and remain married?
What if it had been going on for years?
What if they continued after you caught them?”

Well – this is a rough one for me because it hit really close to home.  My beloved spouse, Amber, has been cheating on me for years.  I’m not talking about a mistake here or there…  I’m talking about consistent patterns of cheating.  So.  I guess we are still married, so to answer the first part of the question.  Yes, I’d stay married.  Yes, even if it had been going on for years.  As for catching her… She’s pretty smart about it.  I’ve never directly caught her cheating one me, but all the pieces add up.

I can tell by the look on your stunned faces that you don’t believe me.  What?!  Amber cheating on Shane?!  I don’t believe it!  I know.. but its the truth!  Let me explain.  Every game we play, she totally kicks my ass.  At Uno, I think she occasionally puts down 2 cards at a time.  In Clue I think she marks the cards.  When we play Hearts and / or Spades.. I’m totally lost.  She cheats so bad I sometimes wonder what state I’m in.  (Alaska, right?)  Dont’ believe me still?  Just try to play Tetris against her.  You will never win.. ever.  Never ever.. She’s such a big cheater!

So recently (ha!) ‘The Cool Chick” joined our PSS cricle w/ the Earth-shattering question of:

“If you had to choose, would you rather give up your sight or your hearing? Why?”

This one is pretty easy for me.  As much as I love Music, it is simply much easier to live in a hearing-less world than a vision-less world.  Though either prospect sounds just terrible!

Now if the option for me to “speak no evil” were up for a vote, I’m sure I’d be quickly silenced.