fuzzy L0G1c

There once was a Fool who served Two Masters.  The First Master was highly critical of The Fool and his works.   The Critical Master would often speak ill of The Fool, never truly trusting The Fool or his motives.  The Critical Master always assumed the worst of The Fool.  The Second Master was very loving of The Fool.  The Caring Master would seek to praise The Fool whenever possible and encouraged The Fool reach for the stars.  The Caring Master always assumed the best of The Fool.  Having learned what he believed to be all he could from his Two Masters; The Fool set out to make his way in the world.

As the years passed The Fool and his Two Masters became very distant both in the world and their hearts. The Masters heard little of The Fool and The Fool’s mind only rarely drifted to the Two Masters.

One day a Sage came to the Two Masters.  The Sage had known The Fool well and witness of his works.  The Sage praised The Fool’s works and congratulated the Two Masters on their shaping of The Fool.  The Sage told the Two Masters The Fool represented them well in life.

The Critical Master laughed.  The Caring Master wept.

Lately I’ve been a little too introspective about the “Zen of Shane” – What really makes up who I am.  Along the way, I’ve been having a hard time really defining what I am.  No so much, what I enjoy, but Who I am.   I suppose there are many different ways of looking at the picture.  Yes, I’m a Dad, and a Husband.  Those are probably the two first things that come to mind.  But I don’t think I’m remarkable in either one of those categories.  And frankly those categories alone are unremarkable as well.  I’m an employee – and I think a good one – but again (and apparently) not all that remarkable in that category either.  I’m a friend – but only to those who can stand to be around me for long.  I know full well that when the phone rings, it’s not anyone who cares about me or wants to hang out with me, it’s either for Amber or someone who wants money from me.  Even in that, I’m unremarkable.  And maybe that’s just it.  The only constant throughout is that I’m unremarkable.  Not the best title to wear, but certainly not the worst.

I don’t know what it is about listening to Dark Side of the Moon which makes me want to blog.  I guess I should listen to it more (or less for those who are not exactly fans of my blog).  Regardless your opinion of my blog, it’s safe to say that I’m been missing in action lately.  There’s not doubt about it.  It all just seemed to snowball out of control really.  I’ve been incredibly busy at work.  I think I’ve taken less-than 4 days off since July and that’s including all the major holidays between then and now.  By the end of the day and on the weekends, I’ve just had no desire to get on my blog and be witty, strangely remarkable, semi-creepy or otherwise oddly interesting.  From there the Social Blogging Experiment hatched between Kim and I became more of a chore than a pleasure.  As I got further and further behind on questions, I wouldn’t allow myself to blog about “other stuff” until I got caught up.   But since I was so far behind, I never got caught up and just stopped blogging.  So, to my dear reader, rare friend or weirdo who accidently found my site while surfing for some sort of  ”fuzzy logical porn” (whatever that might be…)  I apologize.

But anyway – I’ve been very busy and very worn out.  It’s not so much the work, but the constant, near-endless “fire fighting”, politics and constant pressure to deliver.  I mean.. it’s nothing new.  I’ve been under serious pressure before.  I’ve dealt with more politics than I care to admit and I actually enjoy fighting “fires” at work.  But this has been a bit different.  Without going into detail, it’s been like I’ve been trying to sculpt Jello blindfolded.  (I’m blindfolded, not the Jello. That would just be silly.)  I suppose it will work, and it will work okay for a while.. but in the end it’s still Jello and it’s a constant battle to make sure it doesn’t giggle itself into goopy madness. ( Oh – and for those of you keeping score at home, that was, in-fact not the worst metaphor I’ve ever used on my blog.  Close! But no cigar.)  But as I was saying – this is nothing new to me.  What is new to me is the lack of a “light at the end of the tunnel”.  It’s wearing on me.  I’m not healthy, I’m snapping at my family and I’m letting it get me down.  It’ll all work out in the end, it’s just got me in a bad place right now. 

So to you my solitary reader, you my friend whom I’ve guilted into reading my blog and you the weirdo.  Don’t give up.  I’m still here.  

BTW – I just hit the guitar solo during “Money”.  Coincidentially, this post also sync’s up perfectly with the Wizard of Oz.  Just start reading after the 3rd Lion Roar.

Wow – Where did 2008 go?  2008 seemed to zip by faster than most for me.  So where have I been lately and why haven’t i been blogging?  Well quite simply I’ve been crazy bananas nutso busy with work lately.  Working long hours and not takeing any time time off.  I’ve taken 3 days off since Thanksgiving.  They include Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Day and New Years day.  Unfortunately that means I’ve got (even further) behind on PSS responses and haven’t been able to spout my typical nonsense on my seldom-traffic’d blog.  Hopefully there is now a light at the end of the tunnel, but it will take a few weeks to be sure.  

Anyhow, I think one of my biggest personal successs of 2008 has been the continuation and growth of the Project Say Something concept.  I appreciate everyone for pitching in (my fingers originally typed “bitching in” oddly enough) to the project and I hope to see it continue in 2009.  Of course in 2009 I will also continue to make and break promises about catching up and keeping up.  Woot! 

Welcome to the future! Now where’s my hovercar!?

I literally stumbled upon this will using stumblupon.com .  It totally cracked me up.  However it does capture my feelings about the election fairly well.

So while many of you devoted readers (reader?) were not around in December 2007, when I originally posted this.  I thought I’d take a look back at a PSS questions about who I would vote for, and my predictions for the presidential election.  While you are welcome to read the full post here I figured I’d pull out the highlights and comment on them now.  The day before the election.

12/2007 Snippet:

Republican or Democrat? Not really thrilled with either party, but 3rd parties don’t really have a chance in the presidential election.  Republicans have essentially tromped all over the constitution and made it a point to fear-monger at every opportunity.  Oh, and lets not forget about being repeatedly lied-to over Iraq.  Everyone was so pissed with the Republicans that they got their asses handed to them in the last midterm election.  Enter the democrats!  Saviors of the constitution! Champions of the people!  Finally going to stand up to the evil Republicans!  And what did they do?  Jack shit.. In fact, if you look at some of the senate and house tapes from early-on after midterms, they are an embarrassment.  So, I’m left with the choice of Effective but Evil vs. Total Incompetence. Hrmm.  Evil it is.

Verdict:  WRONG! I’m voting for a democrat.

12/2007 Snippet:

Obama: I like him.  I think if we as Americans end up electing him it will show we’ve come a very long ways.  I think he’s still a little green though.  I think he needs a few more years experience before getting the top seat.

McCain: You gotta respect a guy who has gone through what he has and is still mostly sane.  I also respect his views on torture and really took Romney to task on waterboarding.  I also like his campaign finance reform.  He’s probably the most-honest, straight-forward and ethical candidate on the ticket.  All great reasons why he’ll never win.

Verdict:  WRONG-ish! I think my assessment of Obama is 90% accurate.  I think my opinion of McCain has dropped considerably this election.  It’s really too bad he’s losing his soul at the same time he’s losing his election.

Snippet: 12/2007

2008 Presidential Election: Clinton & Obama (VP) on the Democratic Ticket vs. Romney & Some Super-Christian guy to placate those voters who “just don’t trust a mormon”.

Verdict: WRONG! Silly me.

Final Prediction on the Eve of the Election:

If Democracy still works.  Landslide Obama.

The time has come to stop being afraid.  The time has come to stop basing your beliefs on lies, half-truths and unfounded fears.  Vote for Hope.  Vote for Change.  Please.

Somehow along the way Amy and I got into the “tradition” of sending random IM’s to each other from time-to-time.  Figured I’d share a few of the highlights to get me back into the mood of writing.  Enjoy…

Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Amy: hey, have we received a topic this week?
Shane: Stop reading my mind!
Shane: Witch! Witch!
Amy: ROFL
Shane: Isn’t it “Other Kim’s” turn?
Amy: You crack me up….seriously.  I should just random IM you every morning

Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Shane: Did you see the size of that Ape!  Holy cow!
Amy: it’s not an Ape, its a monkey
Amy: it has a tail!
Shane: shoot!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Amy: Tartar Sauce Batman!  The joker’s got a fancy umbrella and a herd of wild lemurs!
Shane: that’s so hat.
Shane: err hot
Shane: LOL

Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Shane: I never put a finger on that donkey!
Amy: but it was more a matter of where that bothered me
Shane: indeed

Monday, September 22, 2008
Amy: Have you got your tickets to the gun show?
Shane: they came free with my Republican Party membership
Amy: damn!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Amy: who the hell is Maxwell?
Amy: and maybe he is not free because he used his silver hammer
Amy: whacked the shit out of people
Shane: bingo
Amy: ROFL…and you were thinking I was some kind of idiot for a second huh?
Shane: no – but I was surprised.
Amy: all part of my randomness
Shane: I was listening to that on my way in this morning – got stuck in my brain
Amy: it would do
Amy: so was my question lame?
Shane: I’ve not seen it yet. <ducks>
Amy: what?!  damn you!
Shane: too late – already damned myself!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Shane: I see a ship in the Harbor.  I can and shall Obey.  But if it wasn’t for your misfortune, I’d be a heavnly person today.
Amy: but it is not Monday
Shane: <shrugs>
Amy: LOL….now I will have that damn song in my head all day!
Shane: glad I could help.

Friday, September 26, 2008
Shane: SHHHHHHHH!
Amy went idle at 10: 26: 07 AM

Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Shane: What up Dawg!?! Yo!  Check it out…
Amy: woof woof

Thursday, October 02, 2008
Shane: The Turkeys are stalking me.
Amy: well it is about time….I told them to months ago!
Amy: stupid bird brains

Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Shane: I’m wearing a Sombrero!
Amy: Ole’

Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Shane: Anteaters deserve the bulk of the peanut butter.
Amy: but sparrows leave the coins in flowers

Monday, October 13, 2008
Shane: Happiness is a warm gun
Amy: I’m so tired

Monday, October 20, 2008
Shane: In the belly of the Giant Whale – all the girls just wanna have fun.  In the look of a frightened neighbor – In a big warm bed at night – In a broken elevator – In the teeth of a dog that bites.
Amy: that is where you will find my lost dreams and hopes of my childhood

Monday, October 27, 2008
Shane: Turkey farts smell like the moon
Amy: cheesey!
Shane: green cheesy?
Amy: yeah, old, dusty green cheesy

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I feel a strange connection w/ this guy… you pick which.

On my way to work today I saw a turtle squished on the side of the road. Now, coming from Utah; this is one HELL of a weird sight to see. I’m used to all sorts of dead things on the side of the road, but this was just bizarre. There are just certain things you expect to see dead on the side of the road, this… This really threw me for a loop. This poor turtle (Which I’ve since named “Squishy”) wasn’t a tiny little turtle either. It was BIG. I’m not really sure how to give you a exacting idea of it’s size. Turtles are oddly shaped and hard to compare to other objects. So I’ll make something up. On the pizza-to-turtle scale I’d say it was a Large.

Poor Squishy… Slow and steady is ideal for winning races against uppity rabbits, but not for crossing 6 lanes of rush hour traffic.