fuzzy L0G1c

This week it’s my turn to set the PSS theme. I’m very passionate about music and how it speaks to the human soul. I feel I can learn a lot from someone by the music they enjoy. This being the case, I decided to set the theme this week around music; specifically by which music would you like your friends and family to remember you (or play at your funeral). Yes, I’m still in the dark mood. This one is lasting longer than normal, but hopefully I’ll be out of the fog soon. In the meantime, here are the songs by which I would like to be remembered, and why.

Song: “The Departed Tango” - Howard Shore
Why: It’s unexpectedly upbeat, dramatic and top-tapping. Good strong start to an otherwise depressing mix.

Song: “Let it Be” - Across the Universe: Gospel / Soul version: Carol Woods; Timothy Mitchum
Why: If your heart isn’t moved by this song, you are made of stone. (Why not the original? This one is better!)

Song: Hey You - Pink Floyd
Why: Always been one of my favorite Pink Floyd songs.  Speaks to my loner / outsider / introverted personality.

Song: We Close our Eyes: Boingo
Why: An amazing and surprising love song from Boingo.  “I looked death in the face last night, I saw him in a mirror and he simply smiled; He told me not to worry; He told me just to take my time”.

Song: Temptation: Moby
Why: All around beautiful song.  Almost hymn-like in it’s melodic and sorrowful tones.  Walking alone. finding my way “home”.

Song: Golden Slumber: The Beatles
Why: A goodbye message to my wife and daughter.  “Sleep pretty darling, do not cry.  And I will sing a lullaby”.

Song: I Need Some Sleep: Eels
Why: Finally my journey is at it’s end, and frankly I’m tired. “Just gotta let it go…”

Song: Sleeping Lessons: The Shins
Why: Sounds like the music you would hear after you die and start traveling “home”.

Song: Mad World (Donnie Darko remix): Michael Andrews
Why: A poetic and somber look at the insanity and madness of the world I’ve just departed

Song: New Slag: The Shins
Why: Because this song will change your life.
Song:  Til Kingdom Come: Coldplay
Why: A touching tribute to the power of love across time, space and death.

Song: Because: (Across the Universe edition) (Near-entire cast)
Why: An outstanding cover of the original, truly a work of art.  Beautiful melodic and dreamlike.  Do we dream when we die?

Song: Try to Believe: Boingo
Why: Another little-known surprise from Boingo.  Upbeat, happy and hopeful a good closer to go out on.

If we listen to the voices that were silent for so long
If you thought they went away, well you couldn’t be more wrong
If I tell you there is something that we’ve lost but can retrieve
If I tell you there is hope, if we try to believe
You remember there’s a dream that we long since put aside
With the toys that we discarded
And the tears we never cried
We could have had it once again, if we try baby try

What a crazy week!  This week Monica joined our little Say Something Project.  As a new member she was given the task of asking this week’s question.  And while she eased herself gently into our pool with a fairly pedestrian question she quickly discovered how even the benign can stir controversy.  But I digress.  Welcome to the fun Monica.  Now for my answer Monica’s Question:

“Other than having/raising children, what is one thing you can say you have done (or are doing) that will make the world a better place?” 

Sure Amy runs her own charity, Monica has her adopted son, Kim does no harm and Other Kim questions the futility of it all.. But me.  I change the world in a far superior way.  And while these wonderful people try their best and will almost surely have some sort of minor footnote in my eventual world-wide sensation autobiography; (Likely in the “Those lucky enough to have been noticed by me” chapter) they cannot hope to compare to the contribution I make to society on a near-daily basis.  Why?  Well simply put.  I am a good tipper.

Day in and day out, the unclean masses who have the opportunity to bring forth my food (and other useful services) will almost certainly find I’ve bestowed upon them a tip of 20% (or more!).  And not just 20% of the subtotal, but 20% of the (tax included) grand total.  How do I do it?  I ask myself this question all the time.  Sure I’m fighting against social norms.  Sure it’s costing me extra money.  but to those who would ask, I can only ask in return “How do you not?”.  Why do I do it?  Because if I don’t, who will?!  Heroes can rarely define the why or the how.  They just know it’s the right thing to do.  And as a Hero, I  must.

Back when we were pregnant with Geo we were told “Oh the second child is much easier than the first.”  I would like to take this moment to call all these people who offered this sage advice, liars.  They lie they lie they lie.  They lie so much it makes their mothers cry.  Two kids are NOT easier than one.  Don’t let anyone try to convince you otherwise.  

Men… Please take my advice, never… and I mean never… get your wife a Cuckoo Clock for Valentines Day. Sure you might think it’s a unique gift which she will treasure for years to come. Sure you might even include a sappy story about how you tried to train the bird in this clock to say “I Love You” every hour, but it could only say Cuckoo Cuckoo but to know it really means “I Love You! I Love You!”. No.. Just don’t do it. Unless you really want to hear:

• “Oh…..”
• “A Cuckoo Clock?”
• “Are you trying to say I’m Cuckoo?”
• “Yes! I like it… I’m just really tired right now.”
• “No, we don’t need to take it back, it’s fine.”
• “No really.. I like it.”

Money well spent… Go me!

This week we have a newcomer to “Project Say Something”.  “Mysterious Amy” has joined our little game and starts off by asking the question: What is one thing that you have and should throw away, but can’t? Why or Why not?

In typical “Me Fashion” I’ll answer this question simply and then spend the rest of my post rambling about somewhat related items.   I should throw away my emotional baggage, but I cant.  Why?  I’m worried it’s the bulk of what I am.

I go through phases where I seem to fall into myself.  I become very (even for me) introverted and reflective about all which is happening around me and in my head.  During these times I typically become very dark in my communications and personal interactions.  I also become very much as the mercy to the Music I listen to and the movies I watch.  (Amber won’t let me watch America Beauty anymore)  And during these times I’m often drawn to “darker” more “depressed” music.  Outwardly I look fairly normal; just more quite and reserved.  Inwardly my mind is reeling and gnawing on the old bones of my past, the predicament of the present and the uncertainty of the future.  It is very much within on of these dark periods that I find myself answering this question about what I should throw away.

• I should throw away my social anxiety and want to be part of a crowd.
• I should throw away my anger from being overlooked and not given credit for my works as a child and an adult.
• I should throw away my self-doubt that has been so indoctrinated in me for so very long.
• I should throw away my fear of making new friends.
• I should throw away my sarcasm which always rears it’s ugly head in anxious social situations.
• I should throw away my cowardices  so I might try new things, go on new adventures and do something new.
• I should throw away my hatred of those who love me or wish me no harm.
• I should throw away my arrogance which is frankly a mask for my self-doubt.

But if I part with these things.. what is left?

All that you touch
All that you see
All that you taste
All you feel
All that you love
All that you hate
All you distrust
All you save
All that you give
All that you deal
All that you buy beg, borrow or steal
All you create
All you destroy
All that you do
All that you say
All that you eat
Everyone you meet
All that you slight
Everyone you fight
All that is now
All that is gone
All that’s to come
And everything under the sun is in tune
But the sun is eclipsed by the moon.

“Mysterious Amy” has just recently joined the blogosphere and has even requested to start playing in our “Project Say Something” sandbox.  Welcome Amy, good to hear from you again and welcome to our sandbox.  To check out Amy’s blog make sure to visit http://enigmawrappedmystery.blogspot.com

So last week (Look at me catching up!) Kim asked “Who would you like to meet - and why?”  This one is pretty easy for me.  I believe in going right to the source, so of course I would want to talk with The Alpha and The Omega; I would like to meet with God.  When it comes to matters of faith I am deeply torn between what I feel in my heart and what I feel in church.  I’m deeply faithful and spiritual, but can’t stand to go to church.  I believe in the tenants of my faith, but struggle when dealing with those within my same faith.  I am annoyed and jealous by those who can blindly follow and believe.  I dunno.  A quick sit down with the big man would help to clarify things quite a bit.  Me and Him, one on one for 5 minutes.  Understanding he’s likely a busy fellow I’ll prep my questions in advance.

    So the Project Say Something question from 2 weeks back (Yes I’m behind) comes from “Other Kim” who asks “What was your neighborhood like growing up?”.  I had to laugh a bit at this question because I really didn’t have a typical neighborhood in the sense that most kids do.  That is, unless you count a bunch of peach and cherry trees as neighbors.  I grew up on my family’s orchard. It was (and still is I suppose) pretty big and located on the lonely side of a busy highway.  So while I wasn’t totally in exile, I was pretty damned close to it.  What few friends I did have at school could not walk over to my place due to the distance and scary traffic.  I was very lonely growing up and with a few special exceptions still feel as if I am.

Now for those who grew up in suburbia, I’m sure a childhood on a orchard sounds highly desirable.  Open space, freedom, fresh air and hard work.  All the good things kids need.  Indeed it is an experience I equally desire and dread for have my own children.  Growing up in this lonely place taught me a lot of things.  Taught me the value of hard work (surprisingly it’s not all the valuable at all) taught me a strong work ethic and taught me to have a creative imagination.  What it didn’t teach me was how to interact, make friends and participate on a social level with others.   As I’ve said in my previous posts, I have no desire to change the past for fear it would significantly impact the present and future.  So I can’t complain too much.  But I’m rambling.. so that’s my neighborhood.