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On my way to work today I saw a turtle squished on the side of the road. Now, coming from Utah; this is one HELL of a weird sight to see. I’m used to all sorts of dead things on the side of the road, but this was just bizarre. There are just certain things you expect to see dead on the side of the road, this… This really threw me for a loop. This poor turtle (Which I’ve since named “Squishy”) wasn’t a tiny little turtle either. It was BIG. I’m not really sure how to give you a exacting idea of it’s size. Turtles are oddly shaped and hard to compare to other objects. So I’ll make something up. On the pizza-to-turtle scale I’d say it was a Large.

Poor Squishy… Slow and steady is ideal for winning races against uppity rabbits, but not for crossing 6 lanes of rush hour traffic.

This week the disturbing and woeful Shane set the Project Say Something Theme and it is:

Do you believe in Fate? How has it impacted your life?

Yes - actually. I believe in fate. I believe that everything that will happen, has happened, that human beings are trapped by their perception of time. (See Who Knows.) Fate - I think is much like being in the middle of reading a book. Perhaps at a tense moment in a chapter when you are not sure what will happen next. Your mind reels with possibilities, alternative futures for the characters. Will they make it out alive? He can’t be dead! Something must happen to change it. In so much as we can allow our minds to imagine these possibilities, the fact is… Whatever the author has written, will happen regardless of how you may try to change it. But the key is in how you experience the story. How you react to the latest turn of events. How you find and share joy, sorrow, despair, and glee with each turn of the page. That is very much how fate operates. It really doesn’t matter how the story ends, it’s how you experience it along the way.

In my life there are times when I’ve tried to rage against that which I thought I didn’t want, couldn’t do or just couldn’t happen. Often I’ve found that to be as effective as yelling at a page in a book who’s story is going somewhere unexpected. Nothing changed, only my experience along the way was changed.

So, does that mean we are all fated and nothing we do will change that? Oh no, certainly not. It’s all about the experience. It’s all about continuing to read the story. If I can help others have a more enjoyable experience while turning the pages of their life, all the better. The big events will happen one way or the other. (they already have, actually) But if you stop reading or stop caring, you will miss the most important part. The experience.

This Project Say Something Theme comes from the delighfully over-achieving Monica who apparently runs marathons while wearing 9-inch Cankles.  Go figure…

“If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one ability or quality, what would it be?”

This one is CAKE! (Which happens to be a lie) In terms of Super-hero abilities I’ve always wanted to be invisible!  I’d like to say it’s for noble purposes but mostly just to screw with people and other things I don’t want to say on my blog. <wink wink> Anyhow, I think it would be pretty awesome to be able to turn invisible whenever I wanted to.

In terms of real-life abilities…  I wish I was one of those people who enjoyed working out.  You know the type. They are happy to go to the gym and exercise.

That would be pretty cool.  Unfortunately my major ability involves being able to eat way too many pizza pockets in one sitting.

The lovely and talented Amy asks “You have the chance to cure the world of Cancer or AIDS or stop the violence in Africa or Israel/Palestine…which would you choose, and why?”

This one is pretty easy for me. Violence in Africa is an overwhelming calamity which is achieving nothing and only getting worse. Unfortunately, it’s also largely unnoticed by the mainstream media. (Though BBC America News does a good job. I highly recommend it! Check it out to see what a balanced and unbiased picture of the world actually looks like.) Anyhow… Africa. I had the chance to spend 2 weeks in South Africa back in 2003. I was actually in a very nice resort hotel surrounded by a large wall (with “decorative” razor-wire) and well-armed security guards. But what I saw just outside those walls was complete and total abject poverty. Shanty-towns where violence, disease and starvation are quite-common. People w/ very little to live for and less to call their own. In an environment such as this violence can only reign supreme. Now this is in South Africa, one of the most stable and prosperous countries on the continent. It pains me to imagine the violence in the more war-torn areas of the continent. If given the opportunity I would certainly end the Violence in Africa.

…Of course the only way to accomplish that really is to 1) realize Africa exists and it’s issues are much more important than Brit’s latest crotch-flash. 2) Give the people hope in tomorrow. 3) Give people real solutions for supporting their families.

Playing catch up.. and up… and up…

Kim asks: You’ve been given the chance to take one trip through time - backward or forward. Where do you go, what do you do, and of course, why?

Interesting question, as Time Travel is one of favorite nerdly subjects. Time, I think.. is one of the great curses of Man. Much like the stubbing of one’s toes, it’s one of God’s little ways of keeping our egos well-under control. Sure - we can put a man on the moon, but try to go any further and well.. you’ll die before you get there. It’s almost too effective in how it binds us to our own little rock in or own little corner of space. In the end, when the game grinds to a halt, and we can all peek behind the curtains, we’ll find that time was simple a control, an illusion, a mechanism to keep us from drawing outside the lines.

But I ramble, once again. Should we find a way, which way would I go? Well.. I would say I’m torn between the beginning and the end. I’d like to see how it all starts or.. how it all ends. I doubt either place would be a very healthy place to be for very long, but it would be amazing to see moment when everything came to be. Or the last twinkling gasp as it all ends.

I landed in Columbus this afternoon in preparation for a presentation I’m giving tomorrow. The perfect Spring weather in Dulles didn’t follow me unfortunately which lead to a rather bumpy descent and landing. I know what you are thinking “oh no! He’ll be killed!” but it turns out I made it after all. But It was the kind of landing which had me break out in a cold sweat. Ironically not for the fear of crashing, but the queasiness (wow that actually is a word!) which was erupting in my stomach and threatening to expand it’s borders to my lap and the poor lady sitting next to me. The little “air sickness” bag peaked at me from the seat pocket in front of me. Assuring me that it was there if I needed it. “Finally!” the bag thought eagerly to itself “a chance to fulfill my cosmic purpose and enter “Air Sickness Heaven” in full glory!” However I knew if I reached for the bag, I was fully committed; I would be tossing my cookies. Very much in the same way as when you feel like you are going to puke at home, spotting the toilet pretty-well guarantees you are going to be seeing you dinner for a second time. No! I’ve never lost my lunch on a flight I’m not going to now! I’ll just sit here an sweat profusely, turn the knobby on the air dealie and pray we reach the ground. Well… I made it w/ lunch intact. Whew!

Exiting the aircraft I did my nerdly duty and flipped on my blackberry in the off-chance that something really important came up on my 1-hour flight between Dulles and Columbus. Uhh.. nope. Nothing. Hrmm. That’s odd. I think to myself, my BB didn’t update it’s clock for central time. So I pop into the options and remind the phone exactly where it’s at.. Ohio.. Central time.. silly phone! I call Amber. She answers in a tone which is both confused and surprised. “What’s wrong?” she asks. Nothing’s wrong, we landed on time. I told her my flight would be landing around 3PM EST (2PM central time). Silly Amber, she forgets so quickly that there’s a timezone difference. She expresses surprise that I’ve arrived so soon. Oh Amber.. your concept of time and space is so messed up! No wonder you are always running late! I tell her I’ll call her later from the Hotel. I hop in my rental car and start heading towards the hotel. Along the way I notice that the clock in the car is off. Grr, how annoying, it’s an hour fast. I guess no one resets these things for daylight savings. I get to my hotel and check in. I boot up my laptop and sign in to check my mail. (again, just in case something terribly important came up in the 30 minutes it took for me to drive from the airport). Oh. My PC clock is still on Eastern Time. I’ll just update that now.. Done. I rattle off a few emails, send a couple files and sign off. I’m still feeling pretty rough so I think I’ll take a nap. I look at the clock in my room. WTF? an hour fast. Why do people always fuck w/ clocks in hotel rooms?! They can never be trusted. Oh well.. it’s only an hour fast, I’ll just compensate in my head. ZZzzzzz. I wake up several hours later and look at the clock. 8:30PM. Oh.. okay that means it’s only 7:30 really. I call Amber and ask what she’s up to. She tells me she’s right in the middle of trying to get the kids to bed. That makes sense. It’s 8:30 her time, only 7:30 here. The kids are screaming and crying so I tell her I’ll call her back later after I get some dinner. As I leave my room I do some quick math in my head. Okay.. If I take an hour for Dinner, I’ll get back in time to maybe (finally) update my blog. On the way to the restaurant I pass a bank who’s sign dutifully tells me the temperature is 68 degress and the time is…8:45! WTF?! How can the bank be wrong too?

Of course what happened next was one of those special moment’s in a man’s life when everything he knows, all he trusts and all his pride seem to vanish in an instant. I stared at that sign. Temp: 68 degrees. Time: 8:46 PM. The next rotation on the sign could have (and should) have read: “and.. Ohio is in the Eastern Timezone, Asshole!” It all came rushing back. How I corrected my Agenda to adjust for the timezone, How I updated my meetings in calendar to be on central time, How I corrected my phone’s time, why Amber thought my flight was early, why the clock in my rental car was off, why the clock on my laptop was off, why the clock in my room was off… Turns out that my self-centered, pig-headed view of the world might just be off… or at least in the wrong timezone.