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My Sappy Emotional Post

Throughout my life I have had trouble with friendships.  Making them, keeping them and not sabotaging them has always been a significant challenge for me.  While I am certain we have all struggled with this from time to time, I feel I’m particularly bad at the “Friendship Thing”.  Have you ever had someone you consider your “Brother” move away and not tell you?  Are you certain whenever the phone rings that it’s not for you?  Simply because you can’t think of anyone who would bother calling you?  In fact I write this note in a rather sleepy state due to this issue once-again popping into my head and allowing me much sleep.  It’s not easy to sleep when I’m reliving all the friendships I’ve had blow-up, fade away, not reciprocate or others that just go to shit.  The methods change, but the end result is typically me left with the only person who can stand to be around me; my dear Amber.  My one truly successful friendship - and one I cherish endlessly.  Well that’s not fair to those who still consider me a friend and tolerate my presence.  Thank you, but I think that’s only because I’ve stayed far-enough away as to not drive you away yet.  Give it time, I’ll find some way to unravel what loose threads exist between you and I.

In retrospect, it’s always me that does that damage.  It’s always me that expects too much from those who loosely associate with me.  I commit too much of myself in the unfair expectation that the commitment will be returned and unfortunately get upset, sad, depressed, defensive, when it’s not.  Simply because I will do anything to help my friends, doesn’t I shouldn’t expect the same in return.  In fact it’s completely wrong for me to think that.  In the end, friendship means different things to different people.  It’s not right or wrong - it’s just different.  Friendships aren’t family - I get it intellectually, I just wish I’d get it emotionally.

So to those friends who have come into my life only to have me suffocate, smother, sabotage or simply fail to nuture our friendship, I’m sorry.  Thank you for the time we had and I’m sorry for the time we don’t.

She Cheats… I live with it.

Back when Noah was in Short-pants I asked set the PSS Theme of:

“If you caught you spouse cheating on you, would you forgive them and remain married?
What if it had been going on for years?
What if they continued after you caught them?”

Well - this is a rough one for me because it hit really close to home.  My beloved spouse, Amber, has been cheating on me for years.  I’m not talking about a mistake here or there…  I’m talking about consistent patterns of cheating.  So.  I guess we are still married, so to answer the first part of the question.  Yes, I’d stay married.  Yes, even if it had been going on for years.  As for catching her… She’s pretty smart about it.  I’ve never directly caught her cheating one me, but all the pieces add up.

I can tell by the look on your stunned faces that you don’t believe me.  What?!  Amber cheating on Shane?!  I don’t believe it!  I know.. but its the truth!  Let me explain.  Every game we play, she totally kicks my ass.  At Uno, I think she occasionally puts down 2 cards at a time.  In Clue I think she marks the cards.  When we play Hearts and / or Spades.. I’m totally lost.  She cheats so bad I sometimes wonder what state I’m in.  (Alaska, right?)  Dont’ believe me still?  Just try to play Tetris against her.  You will never win.. ever.  Never ever.. She’s such a big cheater!

Early Morning Goose

Some earlier-than-normal meetings had me leaving the house just-before the sun came up this morning.  It was foggy, but not overly so.  It was just enough fog to give the pre-dawn light an almost mystical quality.  As I was driving to work, I drove past a pond near my house.  It was absolutely gorgeous as the fog appeared to reach up out of the water itself like ghostly tendrils in the morning light.  Just as I was enjoying the overwhelmingly beautiful view a gaggle of geese appeared to erupt from behind the fog.  Flying just inches above the water, each flap of their wings created tiny ripples across the water.  It was just a unexpected moment of awe-inspiring nature that I thought I would (try to) share.

Which Monkey Would You Kill?

So recently (ha!) ‘The Cool Chick” joined our PSS cricle w/ the Earth-shattering question of:

“If you had to choose, would you rather give up your sight or your hearing? Why?”

This one is pretty easy for me.  As much as I love Music, it is simply much easier to live in a hearing-less world than a vision-less world.  Though either prospect sounds just terrible!

Now if the option for me to “speak no evil” were up for a vote, I’m sure I’d be quickly silenced.

Material Girl…

I had joked with Kim and Amy that this PSS question would lead to everyone titleing their posts “Material Girl”.  Turned out I was wrong, so I’ll pay pennance w/ my title this time around.  

Amy set this theme: “This week I asked “what 5 material things (so not kids, spouses, money, etc. I am talking about real tangibles) would you not want to live without?”

1) Oil / Petroleum:  Our lives would be significantly set-back if this resource never existed or worse, dried. up.   While you won’t find me chanting ‘Drill, baby, drill” (WTF was up with that anyway?!) I do appreciate the stuff.  

2) Gavanized Rubber:  You really should look up how important this material is.  Without it we are stuck driving on wood or steel tires.  Neither a very optimal solution. 

3) Refrigeration: Without it our food supply would be seriously limited.  Millions would die.  That = bad thing. 

4) Computers / Microchips: Amazing little invention - comes in handy from time to time. 

5) The Internet - Good hell! How did people exist before the internet?  Before IMDB?  Before wikipedia, weather.com, CNN, ect.  Just think back 15 years ago.  Shit we had to go to the library and look things up in the encylopedia! Savagery!

Haven’t I read this before?

Kim asked “Whether it be your top 5 favorites, 5 best (yes, there is a difference), 5 most disappointing, 5 that stayed with you the longest, whatever. Don’t forget your explanations for each.”

This sounded vaguely familiar then I remembered I answered it alread (sans 2 books) back in November last year.   So take this ….  and add these - also by the same author, Robin Hobb.  Incredible and woefully unrecognized artist she is..

Updated PSS: 3 Favorite Books

and add these - also by the same author, Robin Hobb.  Incredible and woefully

unrecognized artist she is..

71 Lines About One Disturbed Me.

Eons ago someone asked something about pet peeves.. so here are mine.

1. People who are intolerant of other cultures.
2. The French.
3. People.
4. Those who ignore construction, merge, lane ends or other street signs until the very last moment.
5. People who use overly complex words and terms in order to make themselves feel smart and me feel ummm.. not.
6. Batrachomyomachy
7. Bloggers… bleh.
8. People who answer seemingly every statement made by another person with “Really?”.
9. Really?
10. Little yappy dogs.
11. Parents who don’t teach their kids how to act in public.
12. Die-hard Democrats.
13. Die-hard Republicans.
14. Pundits
15. People who can’t “remember the name of that one guy who was in that movie last summer”.
16. “umm”
17. “uhh”
18. People who like start every sentence with “like.”
19. Nagging
20. People who feel they have to “one-up” any story being told by anyone. You know “You think being set on fire by The Pope was bad… Let me tell you about the time…”
21. Liars - seriously. Liars.
22. How the mass of an object increases to an infinite amount as you approach the speed of light.  Screws up my plans on a day-to-day basis.
23. MBLMI B TEL MLPQ ZLAB A JBP PXDBP LK Q EBFO YILDP .
24. Most time-travel movies.
25. Most “Hollywood” Movies.
26. Harry Potter
27. Spiderman
28. The “Green” Movement
29. Social norms
30. People who never let you forget a favor.
31. People who never remember you did them a favor.
32. Bush… (You pick which type)
33. Most everything I think or do.
34. iTunes
35. Most “Gamers”.
36. Wrapping presents
37. In-laws.
38. People who can eat all the want and never gain wait AND who look down on me for being overweight.
39. People who steal other people’s ideas and present them as their own.
40. Over-zealous, over-concerned, over-engaged parents in my kid’s class.
41. The PTA.
42. People who can’t read or disregard the ‘No soliciting, please” sign on my doorbell.
43. People who put ads and flyers in my mailbox. (Not send them, but just walk by and put them in there.)
44. Most political campaign commercials.
45. People who stand-by while someone is being assaulted / attacked.
46. Men who don’t support their families. (See also: inlaws)
47. People who are never wrong.
48. Vampires
49. Fake swearing!  “Fetch I flippin’ hate that freaking sheeze!!!”
50. Fudge!!! - I mean.. who eats this stuff?  Waste of a good brownie if you ask me.
51. People who can’t be bothered to write”for” or “you” and insist on using “4″ and “U” instead.
52. People who complain about someone owing them money when they actually never paid you back.
53. Chick-Flicks
54. Feminine hygiene commercials
55. Most erectile dysfunction commercials.
56. Words I always misspell. Will I ever learn to spell “recieve” correctly?!
57. Most things Disney.
58. That everything good is fattening, or more so that everything that’s good-for-you tastes like cardboard.
59. People who go on and on and on without getting to the point.
60. Hypocrisy
61. Hippo’s named “Crissy”
62. Zoo’s.  Seriously - I hate them so much!!!
63. People who talk during the Movie.  They must die!
64. People who kick the back of my seat.  They too must die!
65. People who bring huge roller-suitcases as carry-on baggage.
66. Waiting for checked baggage on the SLC to IAD Delta flight. (Just that flight, every other flight does fine!)
67. Daytime Television
68. Bad Customer Service, in all it’s evil forms!
69. “Corporate Responsibility” which is actually just marketing and PR.
70. Amber’s constant fidgeting.
71. Amber waking me up just as I’ve fallen asleep to tell me some incredibly interesting tidbit she heard on daytime television, saw at a store or otherwise just remembered.  (I once had to start strangling her to get her to stop.)

Stupid Me in Stupid Glee!

So a while back I asked myself.  “Self - Tell us something you have done recently which was really dumb.”

“Ah Yes..” I replied.  ”Well there was the time I dressed up a broom in a bow and sunglasses and forced my kids to pose for family pictures with it.” : Dusty Dusty Love

“Ah yes” Self replied to me.  “That was pretty dumb.  It was also kinda creepy… you freak.  You need help.”  I, He and we all paused a moment, then added “What about the time you thought everyone in Ohio was in the wrong timezone?” Making (up) Time in Ohio! “I mean seriously, WTF was wrong with you?!”

“Need we say more?!”

Caesar Shifted 23 Times before it was in gear.

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